Tuesday, April 2, 2013

REAL April Resolutions & How I did in March

Hi there! First of all, April Fools! :D Yesterday's post was NOT REAL. I just want to be very clear about that. We are not going to speak to Ellie in only Russian this month! That's next month. (Still joking.) The post I wrote yesterday gives me the heebie-jeebies. I want you to have no fear, my dear friends: we're not that pretentious.

Anyway, that means I still need to post my REAL April Resolutions! To recap, January was Spirituality, February was Health, March was Attitude, and this month is...Marriage!

I love being married. Can I just say that? I love Jason, and I love the whole institution of marriage, and I think it's just great. I'm excited to have a Marriage month to focus more on our marriage and make it even better than it already is.

Month 4: April
Theme: Marriage

Main goal: To strengthen me and Jason's marriage.

Individual Resolutions:

  • Firmly re-establish our weekly date night.
  • Do some of the exercises from "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," such as "Nurture your Fondness and Admiration" (specifically, the exercise "A Seven-Week Course in Fondness and Admiration" and "Enhance Your Love Maps" (specifically, the exercise "Make Your Own Love Maps"). (And in case you're wondering what the heck a "love map" is, it's the author's term "for the part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner's life.")

About the individual resolutions: Jason and I have always had a date night ever since we've been married, but for the last few months (ever since he started the graveyard shift) it's started to become a hit-and-miss kind of deal. Our old date night, Friday, no longer works because he works that night. So we kinda moved it to Monday (because that's the night he always has off every week), but Monday is also family home evening, so that conflicted, so we didn't officially move it to Monday, so it just became kind of random when we did it...and you can see the problem. So, I think what we'll have to do is move family home evening to another night, say, Tuesday (and I'm making that official, right now. Family home evening is now on Tuesday) and declare Monday as our official date night. And I declare it thus.

And about the other resolution: Have you ever read "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," by John Gottman? It's a great book. It's backed up by tons of research, and instead of just focusing on why marriages fail, it focuses on how to do marriage right. I read it for one of my classes at BYU (I minored in Family Life), and I still pick it up and read bits and pieces now and again. And every time, it's just like, "Yeah, this makes so much sense!" Anyway, I'm excited to do some of the exercises from the book. They should be good.

And how did I do on my resolutions in March? Well...I stopped filling out my charts about halfway through the month. Savior of the World (the Easter production I was in) started taking up so much time (almost every single night for the last three weeks, I only got to see Jason for 1-2 hours between the time he woke up and the time I had to go to practice. It was really, really hard. It was watch Ellie all day long, see Jason for a little bit, go to the show for four hours, come home and sleep. For weeks!). When I got home at night (usually at 10:30 or later), I would be so exhausted and just drop into bed. And then I would look over at my charts, and just kind of groan, and think, "I don't need to fill them out tonight...I'm so tired...It doesn't really matter...Zzzzzzz." Well, my accountability suffered as a result of not reviewing my resolutions every night, and my productivity followed. In summary...I kind of followed my resolutions in March, but mostly out of chance and habit and not as a result of conscientious effort. I plan to do better in April. I am so excited to have more time again.

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